New Year Blues

New Year's... came and went. I had a really good night the night before though, I just find new year's can never live up to the hype. There were supposed to be 3 million people in Valparaiso. And the fireworks were supposed to be breaking records. And unfortunately I didn't stay out long enough to see (or experience) the water cannons dispersing the crowds. I guess old habits die hard. I've been longing to get a photo, these dark green monsters hide in the shadows of ally ways, popping up like some sort of manifestation of malintent just as everyone else is having a good time. I haven't been able to find anything in the news, the BBC seem to think that it's the beginning of April rather than the beginning of January:

• Swedish town's flameproof 'goat' defies arsonists
  
• Stuck fat woman traps SA cave group
  
• French marchers say 'non' to 2007
  
• $100 laptop for children who can't afford shoes
  
• Vancouver is 'best place to live'

Anyway, the highlight was meeting a Kiwi from our hostel, finding his Kermit the Frog (which reminds me, what's the connection between Kermit the Frog and Jack the Ripper? They both have the same middle name) missing an eye, soaking wet because they'd just been for a swim in the fountain together, watching him feed Kermit some beer which he had previously refused us saying "it was a present", then swinging him round spraying everyone with a cocktail of fountain water and beer. Then later seeing the same guy climb the statue in the same fountain, with a brand new, wide wine stain all the way down his previously white T-shirt, remove his T-shirt and do the haka (the Maori war dance that the All Blacks do).

How To Enjoy Beer

• For starters you should let your body get used to a surplus of alcohol in the previous week or so
  
• Now starve your body of alcohol on the day in question
  
• You should be in a really hot, busy city, such as Santiago
  
• You want to travel from this hot, busy city to a really popular destination, say Valparaiso, on one of the busiest days of the year, say for example December 30^th
  
• Don't buy a bus ticket in advance
  
• Get off the metro too early and walk, with all your stuff, through the thronging crowds for at least five blocks
  
• Queue with everyone else, while wondering what the sign about your destination means
  
• The sign means there are no tickets
  
• Queue anyway
  
• Ask for a ticket
  
• Ask when the next available ticket is
  
• Start panicking, you don't want to wait till tomorrow at 3pm
  
• Go to the only other bus operator
  
• Queue in the even longer queues while wondering how this company will have tickets if the other had none
  
• Get a ticket!
  
• Leave your friend with all your luggage while you go off to buy the beer
  
• Take an extraordinary long time
  
• In fact, leave it to the very last second
  
• Enjoy the look of panic on your friend's face when you return
  
• Get onto the bus
  
• Surreptitiously open the beer
  
• Drink
  
• Watch the sunset

Just Another Day In Paradise

How did I celebrate Christmas? The German way, on Christmas Eve, surrounded by Germans. Then a Christmas breakfast of pancakes with fruit salad and cream and chocolate sauce. I really missed the Brighton Crew in the morning, everyone had gone to bed by about 7, but I fancied a walk. Valparaiso is very hilly and a short way up from our hostel was a lovely view of the port, the sea covered with a morning mist. We then ate McDonald's (I know some might find that incredibly sad, but it was fun, and a first for my friend Johanna) on the beach for lunch and had a quiche for dinner. I was able to show some Colombians courgette for the first time in their lives.

So no, it wasn't just like any other day, some of the shops were closed and there were less buses to the beach. And home did sound nice, especially this year, there were so many family members around, but to be honest, being here isn't exactly conducive to depression :)

Kai wrote a nice "final" travel email. (Skip to paragraph five if you want the novelty of hearing him being positive.) Hopefully we can meet up again in California.

Deja Vu All Over Again

I'm back in Chile again, vibrant Valparaiso this time. Thinking how nice Chilean women look. Meeting with Johanna again. I'm waiting for a lift to the beach to watch the sunset over the sea, Argentina doesn't have a west coast. Wasting time on the internet again. Argentina doesn't have electric kettles either, another advantage Chile has.

I have managed to discover the most painful part of the body to get sunburnt, I managed to burn the backs of my knees yesterday. It is really really uncomfortable. The top of the foot is also pretty nasty while removing socks.

Like the Queen I have recorded a Christmas message for you all to gather around your computers at 3:00pm on Christmas day and watch with rapt attention. Unlike the Queen I have recorded an adult version and a universal version. The adult version contains mild nudity and moderate swearing, the universal version just contains the nudity. Remember, the important thing is that I find it funny. But at least it's shorter than the Queen's.