Sunday, December 31, 2006

How To Enjoy Beer

  • For starters you should let your body get used to a surplus of alcohol in the previous week or so
  • Now starve your body of alcohol on the day in question
  • You should be in a really hot, busy city, such as Santiago
  • You want to travel from this hot, busy city to a really popular destination, say Valparaiso, on one of the busiest days of the year, say for example December 30th
  • Don't buy a bus ticket in advance
  • Get off the metro too early and walk, with all your stuff, through the thronging crowds for at least five blocks
  • Queue with everyone else, while wondering what the sign about your destination means
  • The sign means there are no tickets
  • Queue anyway
  • Ask for a ticket
  • Ask when the next available ticket is
  • Start panicking, you don't want to wait till tomorrow at 3pm
  • Go to the only other bus operator
  • Queue in the even longer queues while wondering how this company will have tickets if the other had none
  • Get a ticket!
  • Leave your friend with all your luggage while you go off to buy the beer
  • Take an extraordinary long time
  • In fact, leave it to the very last second
  • Enjoy the look of panic on your friend's face when you return
  • Get onto the bus
  • Surreptitiously open the beer
  • Drink
  • Watch the sunset

No comments: