How To Enjoy Beer

• For starters you should let your body get used to a surplus of alcohol in the previous week or so
  
• Now starve your body of alcohol on the day in question
  
• You should be in a really hot, busy city, such as Santiago
  
• You want to travel from this hot, busy city to a really popular destination, say Valparaiso, on one of the busiest days of the year, say for example December 30^th
  
• Don't buy a bus ticket in advance
  
• Get off the metro too early and walk, with all your stuff, through the thronging crowds for at least five blocks
  
• Queue with everyone else, while wondering what the sign about your destination means
  
• The sign means there are no tickets
  
• Queue anyway
  
• Ask for a ticket
  
• Ask when the next available ticket is
  
• Start panicking, you don't want to wait till tomorrow at 3pm
  
• Go to the only other bus operator
  
• Queue in the even longer queues while wondering how this company will have tickets if the other had none
  
• Get a ticket!
  
• Leave your friend with all your luggage while you go off to buy the beer
  
• Take an extraordinary long time
  
• In fact, leave it to the very last second
  
• Enjoy the look of panic on your friend's face when you return
  
• Get onto the bus
  
• Surreptitiously open the beer
  
• Drink
  
• Watch the sunset